Bloggin’ the Hut.

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Second weekday at my new lunch spit and I’m already the Four Square mayor. My last visit was on a Friday, and today is a less busy Wednesday at noon, do we will see what difference a crowd makes to the variety and quality of an all you can eat buffet.

The guests this week are seated far away, just outside of my optimal overhearing distance.

One man, wearing white socks and black plastic sandles re-asks about the buffet and the drinks bring free refill, but priced separate. He needs a second confirmation to understand.  Do how much will it be? With taxes?  I believe his tip will be small.

Two other men arrive with a child and sit behind me. It is clear which one is with the young boy, because he is over the top happy and condescending in his joy if everything. “Chocolate milk?” he says with such excitement, you’d think he was winning some money.

Sandle man and I catch each other’s eyes and smile. It’s funny how gleeful he is pretending to be. I’m not sure the young boy gets it.

I eat 5 slices of the same pizza,which is now gone. The other 4 pizzas on display either have mushrooms, onions, or both. Almost everyone who goes up, seems as disappointed as I am. Some go for the salad or pasta, and some go back to their table. One man starts a whole story of what happens to him when he eats red hot peppers.

The happy man goes for the desert slices and explains to the boy how cool it is to have desert before you’re done.  “I xan eat in any order from a buffet”  he declare in his extra happy,  extra loud voice.

Next up, cheese only,  so I take one tgst looks like it has only one or two mushrooms. Maybe I can pick them off.  It’s easy to be fooled by a deep dish, but at keadt I don’t have mushrooms as much as surprise onions, which can upset me for 3 hours if I don’t see it before its in my mouth.

The next three patrons tp enter, are a priest, a rabbi and a cowboy.  This is of course untrue, but the rest of my blog today is so uneventful that I contemplated turning to fiction in order to hold an audience. The truth is that few blogs are worthy of reading. We write them more for ourselves.

Some days, I am inspired. Today, I am more observational, and little is happening around me.

In conclusion, I end off with some Hawaian, my less favourite pizza flavor, pay and leave less satisfied than begkre, but dtill happy and full. No pasta or dessert puzza today.

I’ll try again soon.

The gift of a good story.

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I have written many times about the power of stories,  but today I will give an example of how they can be used to change embarrassing situations into joy.

I am seated in a lunch restaurant a fair distance from my home, with my back to the dining room. As I was eating,  I dropped some crumbs on my shirt, and when I looked down, I happened to notice the collar buttons were on the inside.  I had my shirt on inside out. I felt for the label at the back,  and it is on the outside.

Embarrassing.

My first instinct was to rush to the rest room and change it, but then I started to imagine the situation from the other side. Not from my perspective of embarrassment, but from the story I was creating for the other diners who may have noticed it.  I had created a story.

A lunch trip to Arbys isn’t usually a spectacular memory event.  If it’s your first time, then maybe you’ll remember it, or a reunion with an old friend might make it special, but 9 times out if 10,it’s just lunch.

Today however, a few observant divers will have noticed a man in the corner, alone, typing on his phone, has his shirt on backwards.

They’ll point it out to their friends, and perhaps start a conversation about whether I know. I’m not saying it is life changing, or that they’ll remember me for years, or even days, but for a moment, I was a story.

Perhaps a smile.

That’s not embarrassing. That’s a good thing.

Spontaneous conversation observations

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I was having an early breakfast at a McDonalds this morning. I often enjoy the breakfast crowd, because the conversations I overhear are often quite different than other times during the day.

Today I got a treat. A women seated next to me was enjoying a big breakfast platter alone and content when another woman walked by and recognized her.  They sparked ip a full conversation of social chit chat all the while the second lady stood in the middle prime travel area of the dining room.

It started with; do you come here on your day off,  or are you on break?

It quickly became obvious that this lady worked here,  and was enjoying her previously quiet break time.  Now she was thrust into a forced polite conversation with someone I assume was no close aquantence than a McDonalds customer.

The second lady took a seat,  reasonably distant from the first,  and chatted away at a carry-volume voice level. It must have been a joy to delve deeper into her “friend’s”  social life.  More than a “hi”  chance.

The woman on break was giving off social cues and body language of being trapped.  Poor epman was on break from this,  and yet still forced to smile and ve friendly and answer questions.  As a hobby over-listener,  I too got to hear it all.  Our whole half of the restaurant got to learn more about her.

Eventually she finished chewing and stood up quickly. She had figured out her out.  “well, enjoy your day.” she spoke,  and then dumped her trash and shot outside to smoke, although first she chatted about smoking briefly with the too-curious chatty woman.

Whoosh. She was out the door enjoying the rest of her break in peace in the shade of a nearby tree.

The moral of this story, is that smoking has other benefits too.

Pizza Hut Blogging

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LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 19: A customer walks ...

Pizza blog 2012

May the fourth be with you.

It’s funny how memories of past traditions can almost force you to carry them on. I am sitting on a Pizza Hut in Toronto. It’s the first time I’ve had a buffet in a very long time, since do few of their restaurant locations still have dining rooms, and even fewer have the lunch buffet. I moved back to the city in March, and the two locations nearest me don’t. Today I used Google maps and found a location I knew nothing about.

As I sit here, dipping on a Pepsi between plates, but I am compelled to blog, because my memory of pizza hut buffet includes writing about it. I the process rekindles memories of all the other pizza hut buffets I frequent, but or once did.

I remember the main one I still visit, although far less frequently since it is in Waterloo, where I had e not lived for over two years. It was on University Ave, but so it stayed busy, and was always filled with good looking students. The overhearing hobby I enjoy was most fun there. Conversations were often entertaining.

I remember the battle I had with a waitress there who would refuse to recognize me, even though I was a regular at here table once a week for months. Later, two other wait staff were friend and always greeted me with recognition.

I remember the Finch location, before it turned express. They always had a perfect orange Macaroni and cheese pasta on the buffet. The buffet at Black Creek also had awesome lunch pasta, but I only got to try it twice before they killed the buffet.
Today I start a new tradition and new set of memories. All I can eat, and and blog. $8.49

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My slow computer

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Today an old friend asked me about her father’s old computer, and whether I could come clean it up and make it run faster.  Another techie already tried and it’s not significantly better.  I decided to share my reply here for public awareness.

I do support like this for an hourly wage

A few tips he/you can do first may help enough to make you not require my services.

Secret #1: Microsoft Windows XP Service Pack 3 (SP3) was HUGE forced upgrade in 2011, and almost every older computer slowed to a crawl when it auto-installed.

Some believe this conspiracy theory that it was designed to obsolete all the older machines and make them slow so people would run out and buy new computers with Windows 7. It’s not my place to speculate.  It does however have the effect or forcing most people with older computers to run out and buy a new one.

You can remove SP3 through a tricky process, and stop it from re-installing, but Microsoft will nag you every so often telling you the SP3 changes are really good improvements and you should do it.  Some new software even demands SP3 be installed before it will run.  Again, whether this is truely required, or part of the conspiracy, I’ll let you decide.

SP3 works “OK” if your computer has 3GB of Ram.  Most old systems don’t, and some CAN’T. Upgrading old computers to 3GB can cost a few hundred dollars, and thagt’s if you don’t have to pay extra for somebody like me to come and do it for you.

The single biggest factor in slow computers next to RAM, is heat.  A warm computer runs slower.  A LOT slower.  Old computers run warmer for a few reasons.  Often, it’s just dust making a blanket for the components inside. Opening up the chassis and vacuuming it, or using canned air to blast the dust blanket off all the chips and fans, and especially out of the CPU heatsync makes a HUGE difference.  Sometimes a REALLY huge difference.  Laptops are notorious for running warmer as they age. Sometimes they run so warm the metal curcits actually expand enough to separate the solder and fail.  Sometimes they fail when the computer has been in use for a while, and then work again when it cools down. Sometimes it just fails.  It is harder to cool/clean a laptop than a desktop computer.

Second Secret:  The conspiracy/truth that Microsoft windows was designed to get slower with every use. The difference between day 1 on a fresh new computer and day 7 is noticeable. Month 1 and month 4 is less noticeable, but still mathematically measurable. Every time you install ANYTHING or turn the computer on, it slows down.  Within 3 years, it’s so slow you start looking for NERDS to do speed restoration magic… but the truth is, it’s designed this way.

You can restore 80% of it’s speed back (after the clean up described above) only by reformatting the hard drive, and re-installing everything back onto it as if it was day 1.  A brand new hard drive will make it even a little faster – maybe 90% of it’s original speed – at least until you re-install all the Microsoft updates and SP3 that will slow it down again – and then when you actually start to use it – a week later, it’ll be back to 60% speed… and start the slowing down cycle all over again.

     (I made these speed percentages up)

Suggestions:

The good news: Better computers than you have are available from off-lease discounters for $150(ish) with 2GB or 3GB or Ram and dual core, faster processors.  The cheapest computer you can find for sale in a discount store, is still better than most of the computers in homes today.  If you’re going to bother reformatting and installing everything anyway – why not just get a newer used computer and start over with better hardware.

Second: Windows 7 really is nice and not at all THAT hard to get used to if you liked Windows XP. I configure Windows 7 icons and desktop to work very similar to XP and people grow to like it. It still slows over time, but much much less-so because you can put more RAM in it, and give it a 64bit architecture to start with. It’s a better OS.

Good-ish Windows 7 computers can be bought new for $250-ish.

In my world, buying new computers is exciting and fun. In the world of my clients, it’s thought of as more scary… but having a speedy fast computer with prettier design doesn’t have to be scary. It just depends on what you use it for, and how much the slowness drives you crazy.  Sometimes buying beats fixing. When it comes to 4 year old (or more) computers, I think it does.

I ALWAYS recommend; buy the cheapest computer you can find every 3 years instead of a costly one expecting it to last 5.

Last option.  A great many of my customers are over 60 these days, since I’ve been doing this for 20+ years.  I’ve actually found a good number of them giving up computers totally and switching to tablets; either the iPad or an Android tablet.  They do email, web, and apps better, and with an optional keyboard, there isn’t much they won’t do.

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American Politics

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Frequently when I think of politics, I think there are many smart people out there that do things politically, more l;ike a performance than real politics.  Elections are shows for the masses.  The campaign trail is performance art.  With 24 hour news channels and blogs out the wazoo, people need to have someything to talk about. To feel they’;re a part of the provcess, even if they’re not, really.

While I watched the American 2012 Republican debates, starting with a big crowd of over 10 contenders, it occurs to me that this is a process. They’re starting early and getting more TV coverage before the election than they ever will after it. I’m sure it happens every four years, but we’re all four years older each time too, and our values and memories and opinions change. I pay way more attention to politics now, than I did four or 8 or 12 years ago.

Although, to be fair, I still get my news from the comedy side of politics, not the actual news stations.  I learn what I need to from Howard Stern, Jon Stewart and Jimmy Kimmels – although with Saturday Night Live. Since I am Liberal, and of the belief that most of the people I respect in life are too, this is actually adequate for me to feel somewhat educated.

When I see the row of clowns in the debates, and both sides are making fun of some of them, I realize exactly why we have idiots running for President. Why it is important to rule out the fools, in order to make us all believe we are choosing the right man (or woman, if that ever happens).

We need fools to make fun of, because it is vital, in the 20+ months of time we have to fill before the actual election, that we not make fun of the one we’re going to choose – at least too much.  We need the late night talk shows to have fodder, and be able to mock and attack and joke about the losers.  If we had 10 actual good contenders up in the row in front of a crowd, we’d not only be confused, but we’d have to find out the dirt and bad things about the good guys too.  We’d be talking for 28 months about Mit Romney, and that can’t be good.

Without the idiot contestants,  we might have to laugh at the real contestants.  Just like other realty TV shows like Survivor,  the winners have to think about who they want to take to the end. Who can they beat in the final tribal council.  We need losers we know can’t win to the end beside us.

Herman Caine was just a rodeo clown that lets the cowboy get away unnoticed by the media bull.

His job was to show America that a black man, or a small business man, or a crazy person  – depending on which demographic you most identify with, CAN make it to the Presidential race.  His close positioning served multiple purposes to give hope to everyone that in the USA, anyone can make it to the President campaign trail, even if only  rich Harvard educated men actually win.  He was close.

 

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Happy New Year (ish)

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Not Happy new year.

Everyone has a different way of handling the new year.  A year older,  and January is a time to not only reflect, but to be optimistic about the future. Most Januarys for me start off mixed. I have sadness that I didn’t succeed in the previous year as hoped, and sincere optimism this time, I’ll get it right. I’ll finally figure out the secret, or meet the people that’ll make the difference.

Then, anywhere from 2-3 weeks in,  I repeat the pattern and get depressed.

It’s 2012 and once again, a few bad things in life have piled on at the same time and I feel like I’m at the bottom of a pit.  As I try to climb up,  I just pull more dirt in over me and eventually give up and go to sleep in the mud staring up at the sky.

There are many perspectives to look at my life.  If I try, I can see the good – the free – the happy. I used to be able to handle multiple hits against my happiness, but with each year older, the hits seem to do more damage and now just one or two bad things a day can get me down for a while. I don’t have time to recover before somebody else is either yelling at me, or complaining,  or just generally bashing something I feel responsible for.

This week,  a reoccurring issue is causing a few people stress, and I am not directly to blame,  but I am the contact that should be solving it.  I am the contact that takes the blame as my job description. When people are happy and smile,  I’m doing well. When they’re angry, I have failed, and I get down.

Two of my prime income sources are in jeopardy, and this is the time I need to be on the top of my game. Instead, I am at the bottom and instead of fighting,  I wave goodbye, wallow in self pitty,  and convince myself I am a loser that deserves it all.

Basically,  I run. I always run.

I am sad.  Teary sad. Obsession sad.

Chocolate or steak won’t even snap me out of it.  I am still capable, at least at this stage of smiles and laughs and public happiness, but idle moments are deep.  I can stare at the wall and drift.

I can’t stay focused long enough to write my depression woes.  Oh well…

End of part 1, written on my phone while at work.

Eating Alone at McDonalds

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Nederlands: MCDonalds Winterswijk

Image via Wikipedia

Eating alone is something you get used to after a while.  You find ways to amuse yourself, or feel less self conscious. I used to only ever eat alone at counter-pay places, but never at restaurant where I sit and order from wait staff.

Today, I was eating breakfast at McDonalds.

One of my favourite things to do us just sit,  watch and listen. This is especially fun at breakfast time.  McDonalds in the morning is dominated by old people. Seniors sitting around eating their McDonalds breakfast are entertaining.

Today,  on my way to a business meeting,  I stopped off at at a McDonalds. I feel no shame in admitting I enjoy their breakfasts, both in taste, and enviornment.

Today was a Saturday, and the place packed to capacity. I actually had to wait for a table,  but sadly the location was in a Chinese neighborhood and the restaurant was fully packed with people,  both young and old, all speaking Chinese.

That’s no fun. Overhearing people speaking a different language is not entertaining at all. To an English speaker, people speaking Chinese sound exactly like another English speaker mocking it.  Gibberish words and lots of ahhh sounds.

Zeppelin: I have lived almost 50 years and today is the first day ever,  that I discovered gibberish is spelled with a g, not a j.
To me, the Chinese language seems a little louder than English, and so from my table,  I could overhear conversations from no less than four tables. Sadly,  I could not understand a word.

Sometimes when you listen to foregigners talking in their langauge, you can stil pick out newer words, or technology words they may not know the translations for.  Your ears trigger on terms like APPLE or iPHONE or MICROSOFT WINDOWS in between the other words.  Todays restauaramt clientel were all shese were seniors, so they were probably not discussing much modern technology. No random English words crept in.  Nothing. Just Chinese.

I felt alone in a crowd.

I suppose I am supposed to understand what it might feel like to be a foreigner in a regular English speaking McDonalds.

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Blogging from Android.

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This blog was written entirely using my voice and the google voice keyboard tool on my android phone. Wow I really didn’t expect it to work this well. I have not done any editing at all.  The option is new on Ice Cream Sandwich, and the Google voice box appears where my keyboard would normally be.

The future of this voice input looks good.  I just speak, and the words appear. Fast or slow.  So far, it is not even made 1 mistake. It doesn’t seem to have a new line feature or a new paragraph feature, but that just could be because I don’t know what word to use.  Editing takes me back to the regular keyboard, and the toggle is a hassle, but maybe this will change as updates become available.