I decided not to call it cock fighting. This is the saga of the summer of 2022 when a mean egotistical rooster was added to our mini farm and I have been tasked with feeding it.
The chickens don’t want to get wet so when it starts to rain instead of going back to the coop they come up to the house and hang out on the porch under a roof.
Likewise, I’m not a big fan of getting wet, so today I made up rain rules which indicate it’s okay to feed them right in front of the door instead of forcing them into the rain to eat moist food. They don’t like that and most likely the other animals we don’t want to encourage, will happily take the leftovers.
This is the lunch crowd and there are still weak hens in the chicken coop that I will have to bring a special plate to a little later but for now, lunch feeding took only a few seconds.
As a secondary addition to this story, I experienced the leaky roof for the first time. It’s scared the shit out of me while I was just standing ready to feed the animals and a drip of water hit me I would have nowhere. Nowhere being, the roof. A place where one would not normally expect a drop of water to appear from.
I know they don’t. Probably. It was a brief fantasy about finding a reason to get rid of the rooster and win the war once and forever. Another attack from the front line happened this morning. I also witnessed the rooster being a bit of a bastard. Not doing his rooster duties right away.
At 7:30, I came downstairs and prepared some hen feed but the rooster can also eat. He stood proudly right outside the exit to the house with his main hens at his side.
He crows ”FEED US NOW!” As of I can understand. I suppose I can. It’s not as bright out at 730 anymore but he wants to make sure I remember him.
He won’t move out of my path for a while. The other two hens quickly figure out what’s going on and move out of my way but he stays there, pecking at the concrete porch steps as if he’s looking for scraps that we both know aren’t there.
Eventually I tire of the game, and make my way around the side delicately all the while holding my defensive stick between him and I. I mixed my way towards the main feeding ground nearby and he and the other two hens follow.
This area has a big water container for drinking and two metal dishes ideal for the two types of feed I bring out several times a day. I fill the first one with the pellets and the three of them begin to eat.
I am about to go fill the second dish with the less nutritional but more tasty chicken scratch feed. Before I do the rooster stands on an edge of the plate and it flips up in the air. If the timing were different by a few seconds, they would be chicken scratch flying everywhere.
As the dish settled I reached in to add the feed and bam. He came at my hand and bit me. I’ve become quite fast around this rooster so it wasn’t a major attack but it did break skin and left a red mark. One point award to the rooster.
I mentioned that I witnessed him being a bit of a bastard this morning. That wasn’t it. What I saw was a rooster that is two main hens, or quiet henchman we call them, work quite content to eat more than half the food between the three of them without him calling his morning breakfast cockadoodledoo.
His main job is to look after the hands although he definitely doesn’t care about the three weak ones that were here before he arrived. It’s just as clear that among the rest he has favorites. This morning I witnessed them pig out at the buffet before telling anyone else about it.
I think that’s mean and if we voted to the main rooster was, I find one to run against him because everyone deserves to know when the food arrives.
I took a special plate with a mixture of pellets and chicken feed back on its own plate into the coop for the rest of them to eat. They didn’t get much time of course before the rooster had to come see what I was doing and eat a portion of their food as well.
Actually, I’m on schedule but the three remaining birds that are last to go back to the coop in the evening are still out. The rooster and his two first officers.
So I sit up at the front seeing if they go inside in the next short while. You don’t seem to have noticed me yet even though the door to the house makes them really loud slamming sound that I continuously forget to prepare myself for. It’s been doing it for 2 years but that’s just the way my brain works only remind that it when it does it again.
It’s with the last day of slop for the pig and I was a little short so I went overboard. I added all the slop but also added a bunch of treats including three almost fresh bananas which appear to be his favorite. If yesterday feeding is anything to go by, It’s the strong smell I need to coax him out and to the feeding ground..
Yesterday was actually quite a delight. I walk into the chicken coop and all the chickens and rooster are up in their perch. I put the pot underneath the pigs nose and the fun begins. He comes alive, snorting like a wild bore. I hardly had coax him all and before I knew it, he was chomping eagerly.
If tonight is even remotely similar it’s definitely the banana that makes the difference. Tonight’s delicacy also includes a variety of sugary cereal which it probably shouldn’t but, hey, it’s a pig.
… Shit. Tonight’s meal is definitely a concoction by me and I thought I heard the real farm owner coming in and an hour early. No doubt he would have a lot to say about this meal. Luckily it wasn’t him and the rooster is out of my immediate path trying to try and sneak my way too pig without getting attacked by the rooster.
He and I have kept there just himself for the past few weeks but he does love to be in my way at the door because he knows there’s not much I can do so I just wait.
Whenever I try and do something sneaky, I get justified my paranoid because it’s the kind of thing I can get in trouble for, and I don’t like getting in trouble. When I’m worried, I’ve become even more clumsy than my usual self. I almost fell, and I knocked a painting off the wall.
According the the most recent rules, I should have the dogs with me to help keep the rooster just out of way untill the pig starts eating bit they were just out for 45 minutes at 430 and sometimes they just don’t feel like making the journey down the stairs and outside with me during this 620 break because master comes home around 7 anyway
If he comes home early. That’ll be another lecture. In this case, if the fucking bird is smart and still outside the door waiting, then I’ll probably go fetch them and my escorts, bit they never really stay with me, and detentions rise between the rooster and I, there is a very real potential one of the dogs will go at it to show I’m protected.
In truth I see no evidence of that. If it was their master they love to show off because there’s two of them and they compete for his attention and pride but for me they’re pretty tame dogs. I never really have a problem.
In fact over the last few days they’ve been showing me I’m not in control. They delay coming inside or coming outside as long as they can just to make it clear they’re not following my arms they’re doing it because they want to.
Animals can be smart but they don’t think we are.
It appears he’s going to wait me out lingering in my path to the coop and the pig. I will have to take my defence stick and make my way, but that leaves the rooster behind me in a better position. It’s hard to keep him on my sites at all times while holding a pot of food that is quite heavy.
I should have brought the dogs.
High anxiety. High potential for me to fall and spill slot over me nowhere near where the pig could find it.
I would cross my fingers but navigating with the stick and the good is already hard enough.
As I walked to where the pig eats. He was already out and walking around wondering why his meal wasn’t there. That made it easy.
Sometimes you see animals do something and you don’t know whether it’s on purpose but you wish it was because it’s just so precious. I doubt the pig is capable of high level passive aggressive thinking but I just witnessed it showing its dominance over the rooster. Although it’s clear this is pig food, the rooster and his two lieutenants start eating right away. The feeding dish is unusually close to a bit of a wall. The rooster is right in the path of where the pig is entering to eat.
It shuffles into position but not without edging the rooster into the wall where it is trapped for a moment. It escaped by flying up but it has nowhere to go. It’s a big pig.
This tiny bit of drama made me smile a huge grin and I intentionally stayed behind a few extra minutes blocking the rooster from exiting my way while his other four sides were blocked by furniture and a pig. He didn’t get to eat as the pig continues to jump away at the delicious but probably not healthy meal.
Although I can’t confirm it tonight it does seem clear that the smell of not quite fresh bananas need one that reaches farther than any other smell and he loves the taste.
I arrive back in my bedroom by 7:00 p.m.
I may or may not interact with him when he gets home. I don’t go out my way, or in fact, out of this room voluntarily to avoid the possible mansplaining lecture that might be otherwise ignored or at least postponed untill the weekend.
End of farm report for Tuesday
Update. He arrived home at 7:08
Since I don’t have children, it follows that I don’t have grandchildren so I won’t sit around when I’m old telling my war stories to anyone who will listen. That’s what blogs are for. No one has to listen, and in fact no one is really reading this continuing saga but if I continue to journalize the war between the rooster and I.
Last week I decided it would be smart to create a second blog that doesn’t have all the private and personal life struggles content and then I could share it with a wider audience and perhaps get some feedback from chicken lovers or fellow rooster haters. I doubt very much there are any rooster lovers.
It has been reasonably peaceful the last week. The chickens have not been in front of the door, but even if they are, I learned the secret is to leave the house with the dogs. They are dispersed units and quite handy.
It’s 12:15, which is their second feeding of the day. I come out and they’re not usually walking around at this point so I get to deposit food in at least two locations before they come running.
The running of the hens is quite humorous and I’d like to film it except that I have to be very cautious about where the rooster is and whether it’s okay with him that I’m videotaping his harem of hens.
Not that that would really make any difference but it does change the way I move outside. I’m always cautious, and aware and really part of summer should be enjoying the weather and just sitting and watching the animals and the dogs but all enjoyment of outside has been ruined by the rooster.
Even now as I sit outside next to the porch he’s come to investigate and he does that fake pecking and I don’t have a defense so I have to leave and go running. It’s sad to be do stressed by a stupid farm animal bit it’s better than being eaten I suspect.
It was crowing like crazy until I turned on the camera. Now it’s silent and eating. I’d love to give it credit for being this annoying on purpose but I suspect it’s just its nature. In some ways, the rooster is limited to one type of speech or whatever birds call speech. The heads gather and chat like crazy and all the rooster can do is cock-a-doodle-doo loudly and often and generally not directed at anyone or for any reason except to say hey women I brought you food. I doubt he’d ever give me credit.
I forget his name, but I don’t remember anything from my past I wanted to kill more. I dream about the ways.
Roosters are kind of useless most of the time. This one is all up in your space, and if I’m not careful, he’ll make my ankles bleed. I want to kick him like a football and never see him again… But I can’t.
To be fair., I’ve never really kicked a ball with much success.
So as of 8:14 a.m. on Tuesday August 2nd I am possibly missing a cat, or not one may have escaped outside which is really bad for at least one or two of the cats and reasonably bad for the third.
If it’s the bad cat and I don’t mean bad cat I mean if it’s the cat that shouldn’t be allowed outside I could be in big trouble both in general for losing a cat and possibly having that cat not return. That sucks so bad cuz it’s going to stress me until I find the cat.
The problem is this cat is the stealthy one It could be a week before I see it even if it’s indoors.
I hate screwing up but I seem to do it every time. I mean this was an easy day feed the animals almost got killed by a chicken and maybe lost a cat all things considered a bad first day.
As of 10:00 a.m. it was pre-connect too much so I decided to spend some actual effort and try and find the cat and indeed it is outside it’s still in the yard and hidden away but the fucking rooster is always nearby which means I have to look at it the whole time and that means I end up falling or possibly worse.
I hate it so much. So I carry a tool now but to be honest I’m not entirely sure what that tool is except something to show between me and the rooster. Since the other chickens aren’t up in the same area it doesn’t seem as eager to defend anything. It just likes to keep an eye on me and cockadoodledoo and let me know it’s watching. It’s got the old rooster eye locked in on me.
Edit: Cat located and he came in on his own. I don’t think I have to tell anyone about losing it.
Rough start to the day. My first official work day where I am in charge of the animals morning afternoon and evening and potentially already lost a cat.
It’s freaking me out. I did everything fine but you know how easy it is for me to get distracted and I didn’t fully close the door. Still means a cat would have had to get by me and jump quite high to the second window of the door to get out but apparently it’s happened before so now I have to spend my day trying to find if it’s in the kitchen or if it’s outside or if it’s gone and that’s the worst case scenario because he’s not going to get home till quite late and the last thing he wants to do is hear the there’s a cat outside.
So day one of one of the easiest jobs ever and I still figure out a way to screw it up. Twice I let the cats in the living room too but that was easy there used to getting caught and go back into the kitchen.
He hasn’t trained his cats to come to that cat treat sound. The one that’s missing is the stealth one that sometimes I don’t see for a while. In fact up until Sunday I was sure there were only two cats in the kitchen and that one may be died while I was away but I didn’t want to ask. Then on Sunday bam three cats yesterday three cats. Today two cats
Anyway I’m trying to be very productive this week since I wake up in the morning I’m not going back to bed and I’m trying to get things done. I’ve got a nice little list that’s all possible. I have till the end of August at least, and less he hates the job so much he quits..
I honestly don’t know how he handles it. He leaves the house by 5:00 a.m. doesn’t come home till who knows when but I’m guessing around 10:00 p.m. and the drive is 2 hours.
My biggest fear is that he’s speeding so much in his super sports car but just for that reason, that he could very easily lose his license and have his car impounded. To say that it won’t happen when he does this 5 days a week for the rest of the summer is a luck beyond absurd. Because of I’m a police officer and I see his car today but I don’t get it I know he’s coming tomorrow and the next day too.
Confirmed. The cat is out in the yard hiding from the rooster as am I. Not sure how to get it out without being injured by either party. The fucking rooster has its eye on me all the time crowing away even when the other hands are nowhere near. He’s like the mafia boss that doesn’t quite understand we’re not all against him
So I have a 15 minute break and then less than 2 minutes to go to where the cat is and talk to it and try and get it to come out of the underground before the rooster shows up. I have a tool to show the rooster I mean business but I’m not sure. I think it’s faster than me anyway.
10:16am. Cat was happy to come inside of his own free will. My guess is he enjoyed his adventure, but probably also hates that fucking rooster
Doing pretty much the same thing every day doesn’t necessarily get easier. For someone with attention deficit disorder it can actually get more difficult because each day it becomes less interesting and the temptation to be creative and look for ways to make it fun can actually distract and make more mistakes happen.
On top of that, waking up every morning gets more tedious, not less. Now I’m only saying that on day two because I’m tired and I want to sleep and that’s more of a health issue currently. Once I can get back into sleeping things may be different.
So it’s day two and I’m about to get up and go feed the chickens. The rooster and I had a bit of a fight yesterday. We stood off like sparring boxers for a few minutes staring at each other and he didn’t know what to do so I walked away facing him. Our relationship may evolve over the next month. It will be interesting to see.
Animals can make me angry, and I don’t like to be angry. Rage builds up inside me. It’s such a weird experience.
I placed two different feeds types strategically in two areas that allowed for me to miss direct contact with the rooster. He was fine without needless conflict too it seems.
I’m back in my bedroom now remembering two important tasks that should have been part of the morning routine. That sucks. I should get back up and do them. Instead, I convince myself morning timing isn’t as important as it probably is.
Essentially, a morning routine fail. Something to improve upon as the week progresses I suppose. I should know by now that checking my notes is probably the most important step in my daily routine these days.
I tried to sleep and I’m not 100% certain whether I did or not. Laying still thinking about sleep can be tricky. I may have floated between works briefly but it wasn’t the rich two hours I’d hoped for. Now I’m just in an unmotivated limbo not excited about starting any of the other tasks l have personally added to my goals. I just really want to sleep.
I think what this means most importantly, is that I should probably take the day to pay attention to the core problem of why my dehydrated body is not accepting water the way it should and why I’m peeing every hour. It’s a personal health issue that should have been resolved weeks ago but I am the king of should. I know what needs to be done but that means nothing in the grand scheme of getting things done.
This summer job was to help me change that but it’s slow going. I can fall into the routine of doing nothing just as easily. It’s only day two and that’s clear.
So my main goals for today is to call that mental health mine and get to the pharmacy for some new constipation medicine.
I wish I could say that those are easy tasks and they will be done. I want to say that. If I say that it doesn’t mean it will be done. I just have to try. I hate living alone without support and other people nagging me.
11:36. Today seems to be going super slow. I had forgotten to feed myself. All the animals got theirs but I forgot my own lunch. I ate very little these days partly because of the constipation and partly because I don’t leave my bed so a big diet isn’t necessary.
I spent a lot of time scrolling through Facebook shorts and it’s still not noon. Haven’t watched TV yet and I try to avoid that if I can until I get some work done. I’ll do some more invoicing and see what else. In my head I’m thinking about making that call and it scares me because I don’t know the future that it may cause to start.
I’ve always said doing things is harder than not doing things. Once I start to seek help, I’m going to actually have to do things and that’s not my forte.
I went out to give the chickens their afternoon meal and I got the various locations topped up before anybody noticed. I didn’t tell anybody so it will be a nice surprise for a scout chicken in the next few minutes. I hope.
I just this moment remembered why I’m supposed to tell announce their feedings. If they don’t notice the food soon the rats will eat it before they get a chance to.
Now comes the decision to stay in bed and continue my light computer work, or put on pants and go but the things I need.
I need the things I need.
Hmmm… Let me see what I can get delivered.
4pm. I feel more exhausted than I would normally be but I’m living on an Indian time with drug use, dehydration and the inability to take a decent crap, as well as only sleeping in hour long cycles.
I chicken out getting on the illegally unlicensed scooter because inside I’m still a perfect little child and I don’t do things like that if I can avoid them. Instead, I did walk to the corner hoping to buy an orange bong and 5.litrrs of Orange Crush. Neither was in stock so I felt disappointed walked home and now I’m back in bed sulking.
But I did get orange t-shirts so I really have to get back that because it’s been a very long time since I’ve done my video blogging wearing an orange shirt.
Final. I ordered laxatives from Walmart and they arrived just as I was getting ready to go feed the pig for my final task. I let the dogs out just as their master arrived home from the rear door. There was no surprise that he would take over and prepare the meal. Nothing for me to do for the rest of today so I can lay back, take two pills that will help soften my stools.
Tomorrow I will take the faster acting suppository and hope it helps. I’m also going to smoke some of my stronger weed with hopes to sleep longer than 1 hour.
If neither of these help, I think I may have to go to the hospital. I don’t want to, but I have avoided it a lot longer than I should have. I think I might have mentioned before, I’m not great at taking care of myself.
It’s become clear that there is very little that is interesting about my tasks. Blogging everyday about feeding the chickens, avoiding the rooster, feeding the chickens again and letting the dogs out, and then going to feed the pig just as his owner comes home and takes over the job to do it right.
Today has been reasonably successful so far and that I haven’t made any mistakes, or lost any cats, or forgotten any of the tasks.
It’s 2:00 p.m. now I’m going to try and stay outside a little longer than usual if I can avoid the rooster. Chairs tend to be a hard thing to come by in this backyard. They’re there one day and the next day they’re somewhere else and there’s almost never a comfortable chair near the building to just sit in and relax but recently he has built a mini Oasis based on an old tub. It has a nice table near it and a little fountain and I think I’m going to sit there for a while and let the dogs be outside longer than just enough time to pee.
I may even consider taking a laptop and doing some work outside. Could be a different kind of motivation.
I kind of think I was always this way but I can’t be sure because of the way my memory works. I make stupid mistakes, I knock things over, and I don’t foresee the consequences of things I do before I do them.
Today’s example was quite unfortunate and I can’t get away with it I will definitely have to confess to it and that’s too bad.
As one of the tasks I do to feed the animals it’s to make a stew or goulash of food for the pig. I don’t actually make the food, but I make its final preparations where I mix the goulash with the pig pellets and bring it out to feed him around 7ish.
So I’ve got a pot ready and I put five big scoops of mixture of potatoes and cabbage and carrots and other various vegetables and fill up about 1/3 of the dish. I then go out to the other room and get four handfuls of pellets which is approximately equivalent to one of the containers I found and I bring it back out tonight dump it in with the goulash and it looks like a very small amount. It doesn’t look right.
Then I realize what I’ve done is I’ve put the pig food in the kitchen goulash and not the prepared dish for the pig. The goulash that has to last me at least another day or two is now contaminated with pig pellets that will dissolve and are difficult to calculate the quantity.
A stupid mistake. Not the end of the world, but another addition to the checklist of ways I feed the animals wrong in the eyes of their master. I hate making mistakes but I really hate making mistakes over and over.
At least most of the time I only make each mistake once but that still doesn’t really help in the grand scheme of things. I won’t say the food is ruined. He might. We’ll see. But for now I just have to wait till he comes home.
I’d fed them. I was posing no threat.i was almost inside the house but I showed my back to the Rooster and somehow it magically transported 40 feet and lunged.
It was so fast and startling I honestly don’t remember the details. It didn’t make contact as my telec3s toward this type of surprise must have improved over the last week.
He froze. I froze. He gives the evil single eye stare as I try and ask him why? This one seemed to have no purpose. All the hens were happily eating their feed in different areas of the yard all 40 feet away from me at least
It’s hard to let it happen. I can yell a bit thinking my anger will translate but knowing it won’t. It’s not a game, as much as it may seem so.
He is the alpha male and despite the fact I’ve been bringing the food for 4 days straight, I must still be an enemy threat. A 6 ft tall enemy threat that could easily kill this rooster if we actually got into a fight.
I refrain. I am reminded of the family guy cartoon where Peter Griffin and the giant chicken have a lifelong feud. This rooster and I stared each other the same way but we don’t run all over town destroying things.
Unfortunately the layout of the backyard is such that I can’t easily get from here to the chicken coop without passing the rooster. There are few paths that go the same way.