I am undecided if this is a writing night or not. My ideas may be too fast.
I just had a great orgasm. In my mind right now, noteably good, but I am on drugs.
I have been.
Bad week for me, in that way at least, although the cycle does motivate me to do things that have been on the to-do list forever.
I’ve grown to depend on the cycle over 3-6 months.
My self medication cycles.
However, I may be sabotaching a new networking opportunity that could be the door I open to change, and success. I am terrified.
I will be recovring from way to many drugs to be at my best.
Two new faces I meet tomorrow… and impress. I’m not impressed at myselkf, and as any good saleman should be, I don’t believe in my product.
At least now, at this end of a multi-drug stone.
Today is Wednesday. I will be finishing the last of Friday’s bye… even though I am broke.
I am doing things. I have given myself a responsibilty of a $2000 debt. Yikes?!
How, WHen… I just kept saying YES
Dig my hole.
Poke my Bear
(I want that term to be mine)
Sadly, it isn’t… Google says I’m way to late.
I like it just the same, and is a good alternate book title.
or chapter title
I can only hope that the future keeps chaning in such a way as I survive. So far, I’m doing OK… perhaps turning more into Dave than I thought I wanted to.
I edit myself. Darn.
Of all things, I didn’t want to do that, but part of me is still afraid of one thing. The Internet can, unlike the dreams of Hollywood before it, can make you famous fast.
That is perhaps it’s bugges influence on life. It upped the odds, and added – stunts as a new income source.
Internet IS my dream of making money for anybody who doesn’t work… or want to. How could I not hqve seen that one before now. For chapters apon chapters, I have been under my umbrella goal of wanting to be the guiy who comes up with a cool idea for stoners to stay stoners… prodlly makiing an income.
Many sub-gaols within that were the basis of a lot of cool ideas. This is one of those definite times when I wink at myself and know that I should be talking about my ideas with otehrs, not writing to a fictional reader or fan base which will never exist – if I never allow anybody to read my writings.
Yes… I am terrified of success. I fear even Frogstar being good because I am afraid of success.
I think I want to be famous, but I really don’t.
I just like the life in front of me changing, so I can react. That’s another of my main theroies we’ll get into over the next few months.
Each cycle… half way to the end
I would say tonight is the end of this one, but depending on how tomorrow’s meet and greet goes, I still have more in my possesion. A carrot was dangled and I over spenbt this cycle.
My highs are quite different in my new home. The environment brings with it, a whole new series of concern and stress.
But it is tyhe change that has inspired me to take a next step…
A lie I think. No… Darn – I can’t remember the Spok line from Trek 6
Not a lie.
Mood shift… Oh Look, A zeppelin
I’d love to be famous for that. I don’t know why I think it’s better than it is, but I just like the idea of being remembered for that, than almost anything else.
I do like being interviewed about the hiccup cure… but nobody has in 3 years. Every time I see anybody on TV mention it, I hope they’ll go to Frogstar.
I’d take the kind of fame that goes with a web site mention. I’ve kept Frogstar personal. Different
I wish I had the nerve to treat it with respect.
So little effort.
mood swing – break.