I wish I was disciplined enough to write a blog every day. When I actually sit down and enter the words, I enjoy it. I stay up late for it. But I somehow only seem to want to do it after a bit of pot, and I don’t really want to do pot all the time.

But, I did tonight, so here I am, trying a new formula. A diary-like entry of my day. When I was away on vacation, I started writing daily journal entries, and I sent them off to family and a few friends. It seemed like a nice way to end each day, and even though you may be thinking it, I didn’t do any pot on my trip. I had some, but I didn’t do even a bit.

Today, a Wednesday. The last Wednesday before Christmas 2004. I woke up, around the same time for me, which is surprisingly often 7:39

I knew I had double booked lunch dates for today, but one was with Dave, my roommate, and we shift things around between us as a lower priority with spoke-like unemotional attachment. Dave knows I have lunch every day. If we don’t do Mandarin today, there are 364 other days we can. Derek on the other hand, is a rare treat. We chat daily as best friends online. MSN is our main relationship, and we’ve evolved to really enjoy it… and miss it when we’re out of touch some days.

I like Derek, and his wife too, but we don’t meet up that often. He only lives 32 km away by car, but we just don’t get together. Today, we had agreed on lunch, and we kept the appointment. On average, I’d say we usually go through 2-3 cancellations for every successful visit. Today I had accumulated 4 DVD’s for Derek, and a pair of 3D glasses we’re going to use to watch Shrek 3D.

He returned with 4 DVD’s of movies I’m eager to see.

We ate at Harvey’s. A favourite of mine among the big 5 fast food places. Chiefly because I can order it with lettuce, tomatoes and 3 really nice pickles. If you’re reading this in the future, and Harvey’s is no longer around, remember it fondly.

Derek likes it too, but doesn’t get as much of a chance to eat lunches out, so it’s like a treat for him too.

Because we chat so often online, the truth is – we often don’t have much to say in person. A short lunch is perfect. A live Hello is important once in a while.

We chatted, showed off our new gadgets, talked about computers and women and drugs and then got in our cars and drove away. Both of us will have considered it a success I suspect.

(pause)

Looking back at what I’ve read, I’m not sure this format will pass the ratings. It’s not really a good read… more like a real diary. Although kit may be among the most useful formats for my own personal future self, to use as a memory… it’s not going on the best seller list.

Maybe I should mention the guy I killed today.

Now that’s just cheap. It obviously didn’t happen.

But I can bring sex into the entry. Not real sex of course, because I’m still who I am… but close. A good dance from my best friend in the whole dancing world… A gal I’m not quite content to mention here by name. Nobody needs to find their name – even if it is a stage name in this case, showing up online.

Ok, yet another cheap joke… but I have to hide some humour in this writing, or you won’t even know who I am.

I’m tired now. Weary. It’s later than I usually stay up, especially on a Wednesday, and as I start to write about true, deep, emotional feeling kind of stuff, it becomes hard, and I lose interest.

Truth is easier to ignore than confess.

At least at this moment.

I’ll recap.

Woke up, did work.
left for long drive to East Toronto for 35 minute Harvey’s lunch
Picked up my work CD kit, left behind at a clients home 3 months ago in the area.
Came home, worked
napped
Watched Spiderman2
Went to see Amber (not her real name) and had some very nice dances.
talked, had a great time.

Came home, took an extra goodnight toke,
Released
Wrote this.
Wrote a message to a friend about a marketing idea first, then this.
Now about to go to sleep.
Good day. Most are.
I’m pretty happy with myself these days, even without drugs.

I’m a little concerned I’ve spent too much on Amber this month, and am falling behind. Never a good thing. I need to stay above.

2005 needs to have a project.

—
Jeff