Lauren Fleming
Chat Conversation Start
You and Lauren aren’t connected on Facebook
How are you doing
I liked your other persons better.
Persona.
I don’t understand
I know. It’s sad.
Yesterday you were somebody else.
Oh no actually some one got into my facebook and hacked Me..so I disabled my account since I can’t get the hacker off my facebook
I see. What an amazing coincidence you both like me.
Lol okay.. I hope your day it’s going well
Yes. I’m chatting with you
Okay… How are you doing today
Shoes.
Shoes???
Sorry. That was the other Lauren.
She and I had a whole conversation with me yesterday about shoes. She had a full rich profile and friends. You’re one day new on Facebook and lucky me. A fat 55 year old Canadian is your first choice to make friends with. I’m a lucky guy.
I love Wednesdays.
Lol
So tell me more about your self
My self is not real. I’m actually a fake profile and I’m in Africa just waiting for a beautiful woman to say hi and start a scripted conversation with me. Perhaps you and I have a lot in common.
Lol
What do you mean you are not real
I’m actually a 27 year old black guy in Gianna
OK
I mean Ghana
I always mix those two up.
Ok
Which African country are you in?
I don’t understand what you mean but I’m from Dallas Texas
Yes, but where in Africa are you?
I don’t understand what you mean
Ok. Ignore my silliness. I’m sorry. I really am Jeff in Canada. I’m sorry.
So Texas Lauren… Why me?
Well you don’t need to tell me you are sorry because I don’t understand your chat.
I know. That’s why it’s so funny.
Well I don’t know what got me attracted to you I was going through my page and I came to across your and I like meeting new people that why I send you a message
Right. And it doesn’t turn you off that I’m crazy and you can’t understand me. My kind of woman. I can say anything and you just reply with the next line from your script. Cool.
I am poor by the way… Like bouncing rent cheques poor.
Why are you telling me all this because I don’t understand
Ok. Let me explain.
You see, somewhere in Ghana, there is an office building, and inside it, men and women are trained how to pick American men and pretend to be pretty women from Texas. They are given a set of scripts to use to answer common questions using phrases like; age is just a number and; I don’t know what got me attracted to you. They try to build up friendships and at some point in the future, ask for something. This has been going on for a long time so it must work at least some of the time. I am one of the people that gets these messages once or twice a month. Yesterday, and today I got one from a different version of your name, so I’m pretty certain you are not Lauren from Texas. There is no real reason for Lauren from Texas to strike up a conversation with me using poor English. Do my reactions now make more sense?
By the way, I usually blog these fun conversations on my blog.
If you really were Lauren from Texas then we’re not really going to be friends anyway. You’re creepy stalking strangers twice your age and no ability for conversation.
Ok, maybe that was a little harsh.
Note: There was no reverse image search for Lauren as there often is. It was however, the third different photograph of a Lauren Fleming in two days. The first one was a real profile with a real person probably hacked and then a different black woman, and then this one.
She came back for round two, and since I have three monitors at my work desk, I could continue the madness with her while I work.
——–
Am who I say I am..
Ok. And your African accent is just a coincidence. It was fun playing. You’re already on my blog.
What are you even talking about… What African accent
Are we really going to continue this fake Lauren?
Why would you say am fake.. And also maybe cause you’ve met some people who they aren’t who they claim to be
Did you even read my long text above? Why are you wasting your efforts trying to convince me of something I already know? Even these attempts are out of the script.
Okay if you say am taking my words from a script or something.. That’s fine..i respect people decision
There is no other logical reason for you to be chatting with me this way. I am a crazy person with no money in a ccountry 4000 miles away.
Darn. I get more points in the game when you admit it or run away. Oh well.
I’m not admitting to anything
Cause you’re wrong about me
I’m Lauren and you can’t change that.. Im who I say I am
oh well… not really my loss. Your English is horrid. I could never love you.
Do you have any other photos?
My English is right okay and also that’s not nice of you to say you could never love me.. I never said I want you to love me when we started talking
I’m not a nice person.
I don’t think so
Neither are you sir.
You’re a nice person but you have trust issues
I’m a lady so please don’t call me sir
I do have trust issues but based at least a little bit on logic. When three separate people present themselves to me in a 24 hour period using the same name and multiple accounts and then just say Him, I have no reason that you’re the very first person I chose to say Hi to on Facebook, trust is a bit hard. I’m sure you can understand that.
Yes I do.
The purpose of this your action Is because you have trust issues
Yes, and it’s also a lot of fun trying to get the African chatters to slip up like you have.
I have two accounts and this is my back up profile… I don’t know about the third one
What do you mean by slip up
Well, ok. You caught me. This is the second account, but you changed the profile picture this morning.
Yes cause I gave this account to my cousin…
But when I needed it I have to get it back
The white girl from Vancouver with the same name is your Cousin?
Huh
What time is it there in Texas?
It’s 8:44am
Cool.
I’m trying to be nice to you
But you keep hurting me with your words
I’m still not sure why.
Am gonna be sincere you hurt me but I understand why you did that
Ok. I’ll be nicer. May I see one photo of you without a Snapchat filter? Any photo.
I’m confused. That is the picture from this morning. I thought that was your cosuin.
No that me
Am Lauren..
My cousin is Vanessa
So why are you black on the profile pic?
That Vanessa on the profile pictures…and she’s not black.. She usually goes to a tanning salon
This new woman is far more beautiful. I love that image. Great smile.
It doesn’t even show up on Google when I do a reverse image search, so that’s a bonus.
Oh you’re trying to say Vanessa Is beautiful or what I don’t get you and what with a image search
No. I am saying this photo you’ve chosen is beautiful. I’m not really into the Casino pic of Vanessa.
You probably should have told me you were not Vanessa right away.
I did
I said I’m Lauren
Yes.. but at this time, Lauren is a picture of Vanessa. The Facebook profile is a picture of Vanessa.
Yes cause I don’t want to get her picture of this facebook.. Cause I might get my facebook back and also am hardly on facebook.. I’m most On whatsapp.. Or hangouts
Am hardly on instagram too
Ah, and nowhere else on the entire Internet I see.
Okay but I think you’re a nice man you’re just trying to not to be nice to me
Well to be fair, the whole wrong picture/wrong profile was a little misleading. The whole time I thought I was chatting with that photo, and then you show me your beautiful self photo and I don’t know what to think.
It’s okay.. I’m glad I cleared out your misunderstanding
So can I get to know you now that you’re nice to me
Yes. I’m a friend of Antonio’s too so he can tell you I’m nice.
Who’s Antonio
Your only friend on Facebook.
Huh
Please I don’t know any Antonio
Your Facebook profile says he’s your friend… so I’ve been chatting with him.
Trying to build my trust in you.
You seem even more confusing than I am.
Yes I’m confused
Who’s Antonio
Ok. I guess Antonio is a liar.I don’t know him..
He must be a friend to Vanessa
So confusing.
I told you she was the one using this facebook before I took it back from her
Be right back.. I’m gonna chat her up now
Oh well… I should really get back to my work fake Vanessa/Lauren. It sure was a lot of fun trying to greak you.
Oh my God.. Why would you keep saying that
sorry. Goodbye for now African REAL Lauren Flemming who has no online profile anywhere.
you sure do know how to hurt a ladyor a man.
Lol am much as your words are hurtful.. It’s funny in someways too
That’s all I try for. You and the other people around you in that African warehouse can get a laugh, and perhaps one day, learn that Americans in Texas use pronouns.
You know I’m from Texas doesn’t Mean I live there
If we chat again, I’ll be 100% normal and treat you like a real 20-something cute American girl who just happens to speak with an African accent. Maybe I was wrong all along, and cute girls do pick fat broke guys like me to chat with out of the random blue from accounts with pictures of their cousins. It makes sense when you word it like that… however, for now I need to return to my work in the real world.
Part three:
Suddenly a new Lauren acount exists and it “likes” all things Canadian.
